The Missionary Position
Bonus poem - for readers of "Waves"
If you have read my most recent post - “Waves” - you will have seen my reference to “Mr and Mrs Missionary.”
So by popular demand…. (well - two people have asked)… here is a bonus missionary poem, to be read in conjunction with “Waves.”
I don’t have many photos from back then, and certainly none of missionaries!
This one at least has a reference to God. If you need more than that, you will have to find a different Poet.
Photo: Me, low on fuel, with no map, in a very remote place indeed, stopped to admire a car bonnet road sign - the only sign I’d seen all day. If you check the last line…..
You might say, it was a sign from God.
Anyway - here is the poem:
The missionary position:
The missionary position is -
only one wife,
no jealous fights,
no arguments
with the store manager.
The missionary’s wife
runs the bank on cheque day,
telling the old women how much
they can have of their money,
how much she will take to pay the store,
how much more happy they will be
if only they come to church on sunday.
Then she hands out old clothes
donated by good Baptists
in clean cities far far away.
My preferred companions. (More fun than missionaries).
To be clear - I have no problem with religious belief. My concern is with the activities of certain missionaries, and the coercive control I witnessed in particular places.
'Only one wife'
Oh, there is so much left unsaid there...
And the unwillingness to get one's hands dirty but still engage in charity. No one is immune from that are they? And that's one thing (among many things) I like about this poem. Substitute aid worker for missionary and it still works.
You have a wonderful sense of humor, David. Wonderful because it's compassionate and with appreciation for the absurd!
Ah. I picked out the missionary aspects of Waves before I realized you has posted this follow up poem. From my experience as a missionary and from hosting others. Various faiths, I tend to invite them in and make them whatever beverage their faith allows them to drink, the interesting thing is that the missionaries themselves seem fairly confused about what they are doing and why. They are certainly well scripted and zealous. but the conviction seems generally fairly shallow. There always felt like a tinge of desperation involved. And then micropolitics emerge even within the missionary culture. Its not exactly the loaves and the fishes in the spirit intended in the story. Interesting. I realize I have never looked up why they call it the missionary position. I can guess I suppose, but I think I will not take time to ask AI that question this morning. Some things are better remaining a mystery.